March 2021 Book Reviews

Book Review: The Boys Omnibus vol 3 by Garth Ennis (Affiliate Link)

The superhero hilarity and overall wrongness of the boys continues in volume 3 with herogasm. What I find interesting about the story is how the author uses extremes to get his points across. The story is solid and I like getting to know some of the main characters more. There’s a few moments where you’ll think they did what…but overall an enjoyable story.

Book Review: Peace Talks by Jim Butcher (Affiliate Link)

This is a slower paced Dresden Files book, mainly because it’s part 1 of a two part book. The author basically split the book in two because of the length, but with that said, it actually works pretty well, because there’s enough going on in this book on its own to make it worthwhile to just make it a book on it’s own. I liked the slower pace and the chance for the characters to be developed further. Solid book, but you’ll definitely want to read the next book because of the cliff hanger ending.

Book Review: Battle Ground by Jim Butcher (Affiliate Link)

Battle Ground picks up where Peace Talks leaves off and ratchets up the pressure and action. This book is more fast paced and what I like is that you get to see Harry Dresden challenged as he never has been before, in multiple ways. I enjoyed this book a lot. My only complaint is that the main character got shafted in a way that I don’t think was really fair for him. Even so, its another great book in the series.

Book Review: Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King (Affiliate Link)

I’ve always loved the Shawshank Redemption movie, so when I got this book for Christmas I was curious as to whether it would be better or worse than the movie. If anything what I discovered to my delight is that the book and movie are the same in quality. There are differences between the book and the movie, but each are equally enjoyable. If you loved the movie, you’ll love the book.

Book Review: Ready Player Two by Ernest Cline (Affiliate link)

I didn’t get into this book quite as much as the previous book, but it was still an enjoyable read. The premise is well executed and once again the heroes of the story find themselves having to complete quests in virtual reality, but with a catch. I liked the character development. Some of the nerdiness lost me, but for fans who enjoy some of the particular pop culture referenced, they are sure to enjoy it.

Book Review: First Born by Paul Thompson and Tonya Cook (affiliate link)

This is is the first book in the Elven nations trilogy for Dragonlance. It has a few spelling and grammar errors, but the overall book is good. The story is well told and its compelling enough to read that you’ll find yourself enjoying the story. I reread it for the first time in decades and still found it to be an enjoyable book.

Book Review: The Kinslayer Wars by Douglas Niles (Affiliate link)

This is the second book in the Elven Nations trilogy. The editing was better this time. The story itself was ok. It dragged a bit at times and you could tell it was a different author writing the book. It’s still a pretty decent story and I like that they explore different themes such as racism and slavery in the book, as well as show how the original elven nation became split in two.

Book Review: The Qualinesti by Paul Thompson and Tonya Carter (Affiliate link)

The final book of the Elven Nations Trilogy. It’s a fairly good story that shares the founding of the Qualinesti and shares the ultimate fate of Kith Kanan. It does drag a bit at times, but it’s a good wrap up for the trilogy.

Tales of the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center is available

Are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse?

Surviving a zombie apocalypse is no laughing matter. You need the right guns, the right gear and the right people to survive.

Unfortunately the customers of the zombie apocalypse call center don’t have the right guns, the right gear, or the right people supporting them.

Now the world has gone mad and zombies are everywhere.

Can the customers survive the zombies that are now taking over the world?

Can they survive the cutthroat survivalists who are on the hunt for more supplies and guns?

Can they trust each other enough to live another day?

Find out the fate of the customers of the zombie apocalypse call center in this anthology which shares what happens when the zombie apocalypse gets real.

Tales of the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center is available for pre-order

Are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse?

Surviving a zombie apocalypse is no laughing matter. You need the right guns, the right gear and the right people to survive.

Unfortunately the customers of the zombie apocalypse call center don’t have the right guns, the right gear, or the right people supporting them.

Now the world has gone mad and zombies are everywhere.

Can the customers survive the zombies that are now taking over the world?

Can they survive the cutthroat survivalists who are on the hunt for more supplies and guns?

Can they trust each other enough to live another day?

Find out the fate of the customers of the zombie apocalypse call center in this anthology which shares what happens when the zombie apocalypse gets real.

January 2021 Book Reviews

Book Review: When Jackals Storm the Walls by Bradley Beaulieu (Affiliate Link)

Book 5 of the Song of Shattered Sands builds off the action of the previous books and starts to bring the series to a climatic end, but manages to end on a cliff hanger that will have you on the edge of your seat waiting for book 6. As always the characters come to life in this series and the author does a good job of keeping the reader engaged with the different characters, while inevitably bringing their story arcs together. If you like epic fantasy you’ll love this series, not the least because the author isn’t dragging out, but instead is keeping it focused and manageable.

Book Review: Random Man by A.R. Maxwell (Affiliate link)

This is a coming of age superhero novel where the main character doesn’t have full control of his powers. The author does a great job off establishing the character as well as the challenges he faces. She also makes sure that he struggles throughout the book, which makes it more interesting. The supporting cast is well written and the story is a page turner. If you’re looking for some fun superhero fiction, this book is a good one to read.

Book Review: How to Defeat a Hero by J. Bennett (affiliate link)

When I got this book, I stopped reading another series because I wanted to see what was going to happen to Alice, in this series, and I’m glad I did, because once I started reading this book, I couldn’t stop. I turned each page, curious to see what would happen next to Alice and her fellow henchmates. And I’m glad I did because the book was amazing. The twists and turns got me really excited and the way the story ended…wow. I have a feeling when the next book comes out, I’ll stop reading whatever else I’m reading so I can pick it up and find out what happens next.

Book Review: The Sidekicks Initiative by Barry Hutchinson (affiliate link)

This is a hilarious superhero fiction about former sidekicks that are drafted to save the world from a mysterious threat when the heroes can’t. The author does a good job of keeping you guessing as to what will happen next in the story and there’s plenty of humorous spoofs and jokes about superheroes. I hope the author will write more in this series.

Book Review: The Boys Vol 1 by Garth Ennis (Affiliate link)

I’ll admit I read this graphic novel because of the Amazon series, and I’m glad the series introduced me to it, because as always Garth Ennis manages to push his stories over the top. The story in the comics is different from the show, which makes it even more enjoyable, because it’s like you’re getting extra content. If you like superhero fiction, you’ll love this warped story about supes and what happens when you have a team of people take them on.

Book Review: A Dangerous Freedom by B. D. Lutz (Affiliate Link)

In the latest book from the divided America series, the author introduces more zombie action and humor. I liked the book overall though one difference I noticed is that the author switched between points of view almost every chapter and added more characters. It worked in terms of moving the story forward, but it did feel a little disorienting at times. Even so this was a fun read and I can’t wait for the next book.

Book Review: The Boys volume 2 by Garth Ennis (Affiliate link)

In the second volume of the Boys, the over the top action and craziness of the supes continues to take off, as does the efforts of the Boys to stop the supes. I like the parody of the X-men and the development of the characters. Overall its a good, gory story that skews the traditional superhero narrative.

Heroes of the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center is now Available!

Heroes of the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center

WHAT WILL YOU DO TO END THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE?

The zombie apocalypse rages on…

The mysterious CEO of Zombii Co has set loose his super zombies in a bid to escalate the zombie apocalypse for his own sinister purposes.

Sam and his teammates have tried to find a cure for the zombie virus, but now Sam is infected with a strain of the virus that allows him to telepathically communicate with the other zombies.

Can Sam prove to his teammates that he’s still trustworthy?

Or will he betray them to the CEO of Zombii Co?

If Sam and his team can't find a way to trust each other and work together, Sam could lose more than his humanity. He could lose everyone that matters to him and condemn the world to a never end zombie apocalypse.

Heroes of the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center is now Available for Pre-order!

My latest book Heroes of the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center is available for Pre-order and comes out November 28th.

You can get the book here

And if you haven't read the entire series, you can get all the books here.

I'm doing a special this week where the first book is only $.99.

So if you need to take your mind off the election or just do some fun reading check out my Zombie Apocalypse Call Center series!

Book Review of Divided We Fell and Of Patriots and Tyrants and Rites and Desires

Book Review: Divided We Fell by B. D. Lutz (Affiliate link)

This is a hilarious exploration of a zombie apocalypse in a divided America, where the conservatives and liberals of the U.S. have split the country in half. It’s also a potent reminder of what happens when we let our differences define us to the point that we can no longer find common ground. The characters are funny and the author does a good job of bringing all of them to life, with their faults and foibles, but also their virtues. The action is intense and the description is gory enough to please any horror fans. Overall it is a satirical commentary on the politics of our time, while also being an excellent zombie apocalypse novel.

Book Review: Of Patriots and Tyrants by B. D. Lutz (Affiliate link)

Of Patriots and Tyrants builds off the action of Divided We Fell and keeps you wanting to read more. Like in the previous book, the author continues to explore a zombie apocalypse that happens in a divided America, showing what happens when the politicians’ lust for power helps create the zombie apocalypse the main characters deal with. I like how the author further explores the characters and shows what they have to do to survive. The action is tight. I’m looking forward to the next book!

Book Review: Rites and Desires by Amanda Cherry (Affiliate link)

This is a page turner of a book with compelling characters. The main character Ruby is a villain you can sympathize with, on her quest to get her power back. The Blights are fun minions and the hero of the story is an excellent foil for Ruby. This novel had the right amount of action, along with character development, to keep you reading and wondering what would happen next, and how Ruby would react to it, in order to get what she wanted.

The Curse of the Deadly Gym part 1

I’m sitting in my small boxy office looking at a stack of bills and wishing I could light them up. A smoky scent of Jasmine lazily spirals upward from the incense burner. It usually calms my nerves, but today’s stack of mail has taken calmness right out of the equation and all the incense and meditation in the world isn’t going to make those bills go away. I lean back on my green swivel chair and it squawks.

I hear a hesitant knock at the door. At first I’m sure I’m hallucinating the noise, but then I hear it again.

“Come in!” I yell out.

A moment later the wooden door to my office opens up with a squeak and a balding, pudgy middle aged white guy steps through. I breathe a sigh of relief that it’s not Arnold, my landlord.

“Uh, hello,” the man nervously says. “Are you Ash Danton?”

“That’s what the sign on my door says,” I joke.

The man licks his lips and looks me over.

“I, uh, I thought you’d be a guy.”

“Yeah, I get that on occasion,” I sarcastically reply. Actually I get it all the time. I don’t know if it’s my name or my line of work, or both. Ash could be the name of a man, woman, or other identified person, but I’ve found that being an occultist and an investigator tends to bring certain preconceptions with those labels, namely that you’re a guy doing those things.

“Well anyway, I need your help.”

I beckon the man to a chair and say, “Sit down Mr?”

“Mr. Ackerbee,” he softly replies.

“So how can I help you Mr. Ackerbee?”

“I-I was referred your way by the Hamilton family. They told me how you helped them recently with a haunting in their home.”

“I did help them and I’m glad they referred you my way.” That had been my last case, a one night gig, and I’m glad they remembered me, because that money wasn’t going to cover any of these overdue bills.

Mr. Ackerbee coughs and blinks.

“Would you like me to put out the incense?”

He shakes his head and clears his throat and then continues, “As I was saying, I have a case for you. Lately my wife has been coming home from the gym, really tired.”

“Is this your idea of a joke?” I snap. “I’d expect someone coming back from a gym would be tired.”

“Yeah, that’s true, but she’s tired all time and each time she comes back from the gym she looks paler and paler. She’s not eating as much as she normally would. I initially thought it was drugs, but I looked around the house and her car and I couldn’t find anything. I checked with her boss at work, and he told me she’s been acting strange for the last week as well. And when I thought about it further, I realized it’s when she comes back from the gym.”

“And how do you know there’s something going on at this gym?” I skeptically ask.

The Zombie Apocalypse Bunker Conclusion

Author’s note: This is a short story excerpt set in the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Universe. Each week I’ll write another part of the story on here. You can read part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, and part 5 here. If you enjoy, check out the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center series which shares more zombie apocalypse fun.

I’ve got to retreat and find weapons that’ll work. I run through the kitchen and head to the living room. I’ve got an assault rifle and shotgun there, but neither of them are loaded. If I’m going to get a loaded weapon I have to get to my zombie apocalypse bunker, which has loaded weapons in it. Or I have to get close and personal with Carol. I look around the living room and there’s a katana. It wouldn’t be my first weapon of choice to take down a zombie, but it gives me a little distance and a way to possibly kill Carol, if I can’t get to my weapons. I grab the katana by the hilt and throw the sheathe aside.

“Unnnggrryyyy!”

Carol crashes through the kitchen and emerges in the living room, panting and looking around for her prey.

“I’m right here, bitch,” I say and I slice at her with the edge of the katana.

Carol takes the blade on her forearm, with it going to the bone, but she just grunts and tries to get me with her other arm. I yank at the katana and manage to pull it out of her arm, with a spray of blood splashing against the wall. I’m off balance though and Carol barrels into me, before I can bring the blade to bear.

She snaps at me with her mouth, but doesn’t bite me, because I manage to get an arm under her throat and push her away. Carol staggers back and I whip the katana around and slice her across the face.

“Grrrrr!” she howls and then swipes at me with a hand, clawing me on the arm.

“Bitch!” I say. I never liked Carol. She was always too damn nosy and being a zombie has improved that predisposition.

I come at her with short strikes, trying to drive her back, but Carol doesn’t act like a normal human being. She takes the cuts and tries to get closer to me. I’ve got to end this fight, because she’s relentless.

I hop back and draw the blade so it’s facing Carol. She comes rushing at me and I extend my arms slightly, while also bending my knees. The tip of the blade seeks into Carol’s throat, and a deluge of blood comes out. Carol staggers and then falls to the floor, twitching. I wait a few moments and then nudge her body with the blade, just to make sure she’s dead. She doesn’t move.

I take a deep breath and sigh. My entire body is shaking with adrenaline and I just want to sit down, but I realize I have to secure the front door. There could be other zombies out there and the last thing I need is another fight like this one. I rush to the front door, grab my keys, and then close the door and lock it, using all the bolts I’ve got. I pick up the .45 and eject the jammed bullet. I’ll clean it later.

I go into the kitchen and clean myself up. I hope I can’t get infected because of being scratched, but who knows how the infection vectors spread? Next I grab Carol’s corpse and drag it to door, open the door cautiously and roll her body out. Just to be extra safe, I spray some Zombii Spray over her corpse. Maybe that’ll keep the other zombies away. I gag a bit at the spray. It’s got this lemony scent to it, but it’s supposed to repel zombies and it’s certainly repelling me.

It’s time to finish locking this place down and get into the bunker so I can survive this zombie apocalypse. I go back inside my house, and lock the door again. Then I walk down the hall to the bunker. I’m feeling a little hungry suddenly, but there’s plenty of food in my secret hideaway. I punch in the code for the bunker, step inside and close the door. I’m safe now. No zombies will get me.

The Zombie Apocalypse Bunker Pt 5

Author’s note: This is a short story excerpt set in the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Universe. Each week I’ll write another part of the story on here. You can read part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4 here. If you enjoy, check out the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center series which shares more zombie apocalypse fun.

There’s Vermont. I turn right on it. My house is only a little further away. I lied to Sam about it being the Zombie Defense Base, at least for other people. It’s a defense base but only for me. Maybe eventually I’ll take some people in, build a little dystopic community based around my rules, or maybe just keep to myself. I’ve always been a loner and interacting with people bores me. The only real benefit of other people in a zombie apocalypse is that their walking meat shields.

I pull up to my house and put my car into the driveway. As the zombie apocalypse gets worse, I’m going to expect to see abandoned cars, and I don’t want my car out on the road. If I had a garage, I’d park the car in there, but the driveway will have to do. I get of my car and warily look around. The neighbors are still at work. There’s no one around.

I hurriedly walk to my front door, nervously fumbling with my keys. The zombies aren’t here yet. There’s still time to get inside and lock myself in my zombie apocalypse bunker. I get to the front door and shakenly try to insert my key into the door to unlock it. I drop the keys instead.

“Shit!”

I go to pick the keys up and that’s when I hear it.

“Unnngrrry,” someone moans.

I look around warily, but I can’t see the source of that sound.

“Unnnggrrryyyyy!”

That damn call center rep told me there were a couple zombies nearby, but he didn’t say where. That’s got to be one of them nearby.

I scoop up my keys and hurriedly jam my house key into the front door and twist it, unlocking the door with an audible click. I practically ram myself into the door to get it open.

“Unnngggrrryyyyy!”

That came from right behind me!

I rush into my house and roughly grab the door and slam it shut behind me, but it doesn’t make a slamming sound. Instead it makes the sound of a thud and then the door creaks as its opened.

I blindly turn around and fire my .45. The bullet smacks into a wall. I blink and then I see my first zombie.

It’s my neighbor, Carol. She’s black snot running down from her nose and her eyes are bloodshot. She doesn’t seem to recognize me.

“C-carol, are you, are you ok?” I hesitantly ask.

“Unnnnggggrrrryyyy!”

“Yeah, there’s no food you here, Carol,” I reply.

She stalks toward me, her mouth slavering.

“Unnggrryyy,” she moans.

“Sorry Carol, but I’m not on the menu today, or ever,” I say. Then I point my gun at her and click the trigger. Nothing happens.

“Shit,” I swear as I start backing away from Carol. I try shooting the gun a couple more times, but no bullets come out. The gun must have jammed.

Carol lunges at me. Her left hand grabs my right arm and she reels me toward her with inhuman strength. I push back against that hand futilely. I can’t escape her grip. Then I realize I need to stop fighting it, and use my martial arts training. I let myself go loose and as she pulls my close, I grab her with my other hand, while twisting my right arm, which breaks her grip. Then I pick her up and throw her. She crashes into one of the walls, but rebounds up, seemingly unphased by the throw.

The Zombie Apocalypse Bunker Pt 4

Author’s note: This is a short story excerpt set in the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Universe. Each week I’ll write another part of the story on here. You can read part 1, part 2 and part 3 here. If you enjoy, check out the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center series which shares more zombie apocalypse fun.

After what seems like forever the phone clicks again.

“Angela, you there?” Sam asks.

“I am. You have that information for me yet?” I tersely ask.

“I do. What road are you on?”

I check where I am on the map app I’m using.

“I’m currently on highway 43. I’ll be turning right in half a mile, to my street, Vermont. Then I need to drive a few blocks to get to my house.”

I didn’t realize how close I am to home, which makes feel a bit relieved, but you know how it goes in horror movies. It’s when you let your guard that the zombies strike.

“It looks like there’s been a couple zombies near your location,” Sam says distractedly.

“Shit! What do I do?” I don’t know why I’m asking him that question. I know what to do, but I think it’s the adrenaline in me.

“If you see any zombies, don’t try to hit them with your car, because where you see one there’s usually more, so hitting one will just draw them like flies going to compost. I recommend trying to avoid them as best as possible.”

No shit, Sherlock, I think to myself.

“Ok and then what? I need more helpful advice than avoid hitting them with my car!” I snap.

“Well, if you can help it, don’t stop your car. But drive safely too.”

Oh this idiot is full of wisdom.

“Duh. None of this is exactly helping me, Sam. Look I need to know what to do if I actually get stopped by zombies.”

I hear him take a deep breath.

“Ok, Angela. You told me you only have a .45 on you, correct?”

“Yeah,” I skeptically say.

“How much ammo do you have?”

“I’ve got one extra clip, plus what’s in the gun already.”

“If you get stopped by zombies, you gotta shoot them in the head. Your natural inclination might be to shoot them in the torso, which is the largest target, but torso shots won’t necessarily kill them. When you shoot, expect a little kick back and try not to panic. You’ll waste ammo that way and draw more zombies to you.”

“Now THAT’s helpful advice. What do I do when I get home?” I ask. I pretty much know what I’m going to do, but I want to see what he says and if there’s anything different.

“As far as I can tell you don’t have a lot of zombies in your area yet, but I recommend keeping your lights off and your door locked. Also, don’t plan to stay at your house too long if more zombies show up. Get whatever gear and supplies you need to help you survive together, and then find a place to hole up in with other people people you trust. You’ll want to work together to fend off zombie attacks.”

“Actually my place is the designated Zombie Defense Base, but that’s advice I’ll pass on to my friends. Now I need to focus on my driving. Thanks for the advice.”

“Thanks for calling Zombii Co. Have a good day,” Sam says.

I hang up and shake my head. If I’d know that was the level of support I was getting, I’d have never signed up for, or gotten a different package. The only good thing about the support plan is all the guns and ammo waiting for me at home.

The Zombie Apocalypse Bunker Pt 3

Author’s note: This is a short story excerpt set in the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Universe. Each week I’ll write another part of the story on here. You can read part 1 and part 2 here. If you enjoy, check out the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center series which shares more zombie apocalypse fun.

He gets up as close as he possibly can without hitting me. If I have to abruptly brake he’s going to hit me. It’s a clear case of road rage.

I look in the rearview mirror, at the guy road raging on me. He’s a balding, pudgy white man with glasses on. He’s giving me the finger and glaring at me. Clearly he doesn’t like the fact that I held him up from entering the highway, but instead of just continuing on his way he’s decided to follow me. Big mistake.

If I didn’t need to get home and didn’t think I would need my car, I would just slam the brakes and let him hit me, and then let our insurance providers fight it out. But I don’t have time for this idiot right now. The zombie apocalypse is here and its survival of the fittest time. Time to see if he’s got the balls to back up his bluster.

I grab my .45 and wave it and look at him in the rear view mirror. He sees that gun and he blanches and immediately slows his car down. I slow mine down too and he looks really uncomfortable. He starts looking for a driveway or a road to make a turn on. I put the gun back in the seat and keep driving, but keep an eye on him in the rearview window. He finds a driveway and turns it into and then turns around. I chuckle to myself and then speed up so I can get back home as quickly as possible.

“You are caller number 1 in the queue. Please have your account number ready. The next available phone analyst will take your call,” promises the automated female voice of the Zombii Co. phone line.

“Finally!” I mutter to myself. I shouldn’t have to wait this long when I’m paying Platinum support.

For the next couple of minutes the hold music keeps playing and then I hear a click.

“Hello, this is Sam, with Zombii Co. May I ask who I’m speaking with please?”

He sounds young, early twenties, just a bit rattled and insecure, probably because he never expected the zombie apocalypse to happen. I’ve only used the call center a couple times, but each time I’ve talked to someone from Zombii Co., I can tell they’ve thought I was an idiot. Now who’s the idiot?

“Hi, Sam, this is Angela, account number 5008934011.”

I hear the punching of keyboard keys as he enters my account number.

“How can I help you today Angela?”

I scan the road. I need to take a turn soon.

“Sam, I’m on the road right now, trying to get home from work, and I’m worried because of all the zombie sightings. I was wondering if you had updated news about where the zombies are showing up. I’ve only got my .45 with me, so I wanted to be prepared.”

“I understand. Let me see what I can find out for you.”

Before I can reply he puts me on hold and I’m listening to that annoying hold music again.

The Zombie Apocalypse Bunker Pt 2

Author’s note: This is a short story excerpt set in the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Universe. Each week I’ll write another part of the story on here. You can read part 1 here. If you enjoy, check out the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center series .

As I’m driving I momentarily debate whether I should hit a grocery store, but that seems like a mistake in the making. The last thing I want do is get trapped in a grocery store with a horde of zombies after me. If anything what I need to is get home and to do that I need to know what the zombie road conditions are. I speed dial the Zombii Customer support line, and I instantly hear the sound of hold music.

“Welcome to the Zombii Co. customer support line. We’re sorry to put you on hold, but we’ll get to your call as soon as possible. Hold times are currently longer than usual because of the zombie apocalypse,” I’m blithely told by an automated enthusiastic female voice.

“Fuck!” I mutter to myself. Of course the other preppers are also calling in at the same time, while likely making their way to their own bunkers. That or more likely the unprepared people who didn’t expect that the zombie apocalypse would happen. I’d laugh at them, but they’re effecting me.

“I pay for platinum support. That should get me past all the other members who don’t pay for that level of support,” I growl at the phone.

No response, just the chintzy hold music continuing to play as I drive.

I put the phone on speaker and toss it on the passenger seat. I just need to focus on getting home and if I get there without incident, all the better. I still have my .45 if it comes down to it.

I drive my car until I’m close to the highway. It’s already packed with blissfully ignorant commuters trying to get home. They probably don’t even know that the zombie apocalypse is already here, but if I get into that moving parking lot, it’ll at least take me an hour to get home and that’s assuming the news doesn’t break that the zombies are here. If that happens, I’ll probably have to walk home.

The hold music is still playing and I glare at the phone. If I could get on the line with a Zombii Co. rep they could tell me what the best route to take is, but they’re busy helping other customers instead of me, even though I’ve paid for platinum support.

I hear a honk and look in the rear view window behind me. The guy in the car flips me the bird and honks again. I’m holding him up from getting into that moving death trap he wants to join. I turn on my blinker and pull away from the line of cars waiting to get on the highway. I’ll take some back roads. I’ve practiced driving on them before, for just this occasion, and I may as well do it now.

I pull away and the guy who honked at me proceeds to do the same thing! What’s his problem?!

The Zombie Apocalypse Bunker Pt 1

Author’s note: This is a short story excerpt set in the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center Universe. Each week I’ll write another part of the story on here. If you enjoy, check out the Zombie Apocalypse Call Center series and my free story, The Zombie Apocalypse Convenience Store

I’m at work when the zombie apocalypse happens, but as soon as I’m notified there are zombies attacking people, I do what any good prepper would do and leave work. That last minute deadline that needs to be completed somehow just doesn’t matter as much as making sure I survive the zombie apocalypse.

“Angela, where are you going?” My boss huffs as I walk by his office door.

“I’m heading out on lunch, Brad” I lie.

Brad looks at his watch and says, “You’re not due for lunch for another hour yet, and I need that project I have you working on done. Get back to your desk.”

I click my mouth and say, “No can do, Brad.”

“What did you just say to me?” Brad sputters in astonishment.

I give him a cocky look and say, “No can do. Do you need me to tell you that again?”

“You can’t to talk to me like that. You need to get back to your desk, now!”

I flippantly wave at him and keep walking toward the door.

Brad comes thundering out of his office.

“Get back here or you’re fired!” he yells.

“Not happening, Brad. I’m heading home to survive the zombie apocalypse. If you need the report that bad, get it done yourself. Oh and good luck surviving the zombie apocalypse!” I gaily reply and then skip out the door, leaving him behind, all flabbergasted.

I give him half a day tops for surviving during the zombie apocalypse. Me, on the other hand, I’ve been preparing for the zombie apocalypse for years now. Some people called me crazy, but who’s laughing now. Well soon, anyway, once I’m in my secure bunker. I figure I’ll outwait the initial zombie apocalypse and then start my life in the new dystopia, killing the zombies while scavenging for whatever I can find, and fighting or fucking the other occasional survivors I come across.

I’ve already 5 years worth of canned food in my pantry and I’m on Zombii Co’s Platinum plan, which means my bunker is loaded for bear with ammo. And I’ve also taken some martial arts classes. I’ve been ready for this for a while. And it’s finally happening.

I got notified on my Zombii Co. phone app. I heard a buzz on my phone, while working on that dumb report. I pulled it out and I’ll admit, I did a double take. It was finally happening. The event that I had been waiting for was finally happening. The zombie apocalypse was on. The app showed me incident reports of zombies in multiple places and at that point I grabbed my stuff and decided to ditch the job. Money isn’t going to matter in a couple days anyway.

I get to my car and unlock it and throw everything in. I get inside and pull open the glove compartment. I’ve got .45 in there and that’s it.

“Fuck,” I swear.

A .45 is okay, but I should have had the car better prepared for the zombie apocalypse. I’ve got a forty five minute drive home at this time of day, unless I’m really lucky and the roads aren’t too clogged up with other commuters. Then it’s only twenty five minutes. It’s two in the afternoon, I might just catch the edge of the afternoon rush.

I start my car up and pull out of the parking space and drive out of there like a bat out of a hell. Every moment counts when you’re trying to beat the apocalypse home.